The Internet is ablaze with lists suggesting ways to fight back against the deadliest foe of modern man — stress. Yes, stress! It will boil your blood pressure, electrify your nerves, scramble your stomach, ruin your happiness and lead you straight to the grave. As if you weren't going there already. And to combat stress, here's a summary of what the Internet says you might try:

I learned to swear as a boy. It was the only thing my father ever taught me. He compensated for his lack of attention in other matters by instructing me well in this. And if you think that there is nothing therapeutic, nothing enriching, nothing self-purging about a decent five-second binge of bile, then I can only advise that you try it.

"If there's one thing I've learned from life in Japan," I tell my wife over a pot of black coffee, "it's how to worry."