"Chopsticks," she says, "are more than eating utensils. They are a respected part of Japanese culture, not to mention other cultures throughout Asia. You shouldn't take them lightly." "Me? Take chopsticks lightly? Why, there’s nothing I respect more. I would rather sit on a chopstick than disparage one." Her eyes roll. "You from the West can't understand. You have nothing to compare. Forks and spoons have no cultural echoes whatsoever."

Okay... a Harry Potter fan I am not. But a few train stops from my house is "The Making of Harry Potter," a Warner Brothers Studio Tour Theme Park, the Tokyo version. (The original is in London.) The park opened three years ago to much success and, while I have never been inclined to visit, we had a houseguest who was yearning to go. And so off we went! Just in time for a Harry Potter Halloween.

This death by a thousand techno cuts has gone on for decades and was the inspiration for the 2014 Japan Times humor column below, which aims at payment cards, a form of e-money. Is high tech leading us ahead or pulling us back? Whichever, the noose is too damned tight. Below, then, is a bit of old coot fun involving my rebellion against a system that has been slowly killing me for years.